Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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