I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
