I hate your face
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
