And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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