It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize