what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
