i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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