Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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