CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
where are you?
Hypothermia
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
