if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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