i just wanna soil my oats bro
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My vagina is officially offended.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
