I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
