I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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