Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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