Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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