It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
