fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
