I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude i'm inner monologue high
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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