put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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