Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
