Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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