Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
