i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
