I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
