My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
