I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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