Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm both gender and math confused
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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