I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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