saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
