That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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