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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?

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• (408): View more from California

  booty call

  (925): View more from California

  i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.

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• (707): View more from California

  i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (914): View more from New York

  all she had left on were here heels. phone five

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• (415): View more from California

  is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (530): View more from California

  Maybe I'm a robot.

  (831): View more from California

  You can't be that drunk already

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I have dibs on his crisis of faith.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  ILLEGAL

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