my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
last night I used snow as a chaser
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
