she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
