all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
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Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
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It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.