Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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