"it" just moved
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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