Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
