dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
