Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
