I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize