Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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