Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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