Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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