She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
