But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
