Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Even my vagina gasped.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
