Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
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Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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