The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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