i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
