that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
