So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
