Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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