there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
