it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize