I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
