I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
