genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.