OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
