sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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