dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
