know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
