I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
