we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize