he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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