I didn't shave. On purpose
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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