I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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